10.12.2005

Very tired

I had so much to say about individuality. I have so much to write about. I'm too tired to write. But I also had ideas about materials and meanings, along side personal feelings that are influencing the way I think my work. The displacement will come around. The yearning... The wish to have more time to paint the mural... The wish to tell the stories I lived here that very few people know about. I also had ideas that crossed my mind for the first time... those that no one can read in books, those that surprise us because very few people thought about them. And besides all this I had dreams that I wanted to share. Dreams that overlap reality perfectly, films that are exactly like moving pictures, films that are real and dreams that make sure I'm aware of that. I had subtle moments about music, installation, passion, painting and even name bombarding to do. I had to redefine everything I am. I had to tell a friend where I came from because I'm not just a character I built... I'm a person that needs more then that. Nonetheless I come from nowhere. I'm just exhausted. I'm slept for a while in the studios because of the intensity... of my life... intensity... city... city... city... No anger. No love I can share right now. Every emotion flows to my work and my dreams/films/realities. There is nothing more then an avalanche of thoughts that can't be written on the blog, an explosion of feelings that can't be expressed in words and an extreme need to sleep, start a sketchbook from 1948, finish my mural, Organize my files and folders, tidy my room... but what is this compared with the pleasure of making it all happen?

No comments: