Significance

I feel anger for no reason. Every now and then I wouldn't mind losing control completely... not because of alcohol, or drugs, not even because I'm having a lot o pleasure. I want to lose control for no reason. To let my true self free in the world. No boundaries. No boredom. No rules. I would be aggressive. An animal struggling to kill the world. No explanations. No feelings. Just a body screaming out of impulse. With no meditations, expectations or dreams I would kill this life inside me. Show how rude I truly am. I can't forget the pain I used to have inside. I can't forget almost anything, and believe me that is a curse. Almost the worst anyone can have. But I learned to use it in good ways and now I have fun playing around with memories and replacing them by ambitious dreams. I want to able to say no to death. Show me a way to be an animal again. Show me how simple I am. I need to find something predictable inside me. The only thing that is in fact permanent inside me é esse impulso para amar. Mas como é que eu não tive medo antes? Porque é que ainda não sinto medo de sentir? A verdade é que cada vez sou mais atropelado por estas vagas de paixão. Estes impulsos tornam-se tão fortes que deixo de ser eu. I'm just a wish to be. I'm 100% desire but I see love in that percentage. I need no body to be. If I was gone today my ghost would do as much as I will do, except for one thing: to corrupt my true nature in order to love beyond desire.