Today I'm not sleeping. I have an assessment in my birthday. I have loneliness for the first time in this day. In Portugal it's a bank holyday - the day of Freedom. Lots of parties, fireworks, and all the military all lined up just because of me: Manuel Freedom. Presents and calls were a banality. Every single person remembered my birthday because of the special occasion. Now I have to call people, or leave messages on the blog. England. Portugal. Miles away. Pain. Romantic movies. Kill Bill. Anger management. Sleep. You are tired. But I still have to write down my research. I don't care you nutter. Stop talking to yourself and sleep. Don't complain about your life. You don't have that right. Everyone gave all their best to you. As far as I'm concerned I did the same. I don't care about myself as I used to do. I have a restless feeling inside again but it isn't pain. It's something else. Maybe an unfulfilled need. You crying baby stop searching for needs and prove to yourself you can do something exceptional. Prove you can go beyond your limits. No one else matters. Just your bellybutton and your twisted mind. You freak. Go away, I don't believe in phantoms... Why would there be a birthday phantom? All the people I ever loved cross my mind. But they are not here. I can't stand this much longer. Go to your bed and cry little baby. I can't believe you don't have enough balls to find a girl and find some peace. Believe me I have them, but which girl? Pick one. But I can't. Why you fucker? Because I just can't pick a body. I need someone with something else... Really? What is that then? Well I don't know... But it has to do with feeling. It has to do with a flame. The ability to go after your dreams. A girl. My true problem. Not my birthday - I just need a girl to love. You are needy alright... I know. Don't you remind me of that every single minute of my life please. Pain. Only pain could do it to you.
Faço hoje um quarto de século. Pela primeira vez estou sozinho no meu dia de anos. O meu computador não funciona e sinto-me frustrado com isso tudo.
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